Taming the alarm clock

Taming the alarm clock

A nine-point proposal for crafting a more humane alarm clock (or,
how to play an aria):

First, replace the ferocious bell with a discreet dry sponge, then sharpen the hour hand (1) like the blade of a pocket knife so that when it comes into contact with the thread (2) you have extended to correspond with the hour at which you want to be woken, it will sever it. A sturdy firebrick (3) painted dull white is attached to the thread and tied on with a preferably two-coloured cord; the brick, no longer help by the thread drops onto the bagpipes (4) crushing them. An aria will come out of the bagpipes. This will depend on the chords you set the night before (remember to set both alarm clock and bagpipes), and the air of the aria will hit the paddle (5) wheel made of eleven starched ostrich features and will make it turn.

The process ends with, as you might imagine, an unleashed bicarbonate that heats a coffee pot. The way all good things should end.

Bruno Munari’s work as described by Dan Shepelavy: “a realm where the tweaking of adult conventions and the stimulation of children’s imaginations meet, mingle, draw, type, play, and get wonderfully, absurdly, heartwarmingly weird.”


[Image: “Machine for taming alarm clocks” from Bruno Munari’s Le Macchine di Munari via Dan Shepelavy]