Ben Casnocha on the “I’m Proud of You” Litmus Test:
How many people in your life can say, “I’m proud of you,” and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. …. Someone who credibly says “I’m proud of you” usually has two characteristics. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Second, he must know you well. Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they’ve been and how far they’ve come — pride is a word about growth.
Listen to conversations around you. As people tell and recount stories, do they directly quote someone (… “Yeah, Gates finally said, ‘We should really get together after New Year’s.’” …) or do they simply paraphrase and reframe a story without quoting dialogue directly (… “I saw Gates, and he finally said we should get together after New Year’s.” …)?
I’ve been listening and wondering, is there a difference between the two? If someone directly quotes dialogue, tries to tell stories by playing roles in a conversation rather than paraphrasing it, does it indicate they can empathize more or less? Do they just tell stories differently? It’s a Quotation Litmus Test in the making.