- posted on
- March 18, 2008
- by Liz Danzico
After-Dinner Links
It used to be that having drinks after dinner was a sign of something substantive. First dates that led to after-dinner drinks signified something promising; group dinners that moved the conversation to a bar signified a good time; a professional dinner meeting that started and ended with martinis, a success.
But the drink is no longer the only signifier of substance, I’m finding. It’s post-dinner links that are really indicative of substance.
I’m in San Francisco judging the Communication Arts Awards, and as such, the jury is being treated to big dinners each night. These kinds of dinners — full of bright people with lots of opinions and ideas — are the very ones that end in a list of links the next day. Last night’s dinner, full of designers from both coasts, was followed by an emailed list that included the following: Picco Restaurant, A 16, Otto Restaurant, Pauline’s Restaurant, Designing for People, and The Design of Everyday Things.
What’s notable about the post-dinner links is that they’re somewhat unself-conscious and non-persuasive in tone. (Note the complete lack of discernible order to the list above; it’s chronological, in fact.) But because people at dinner are focused on, well, having dinner, the notes for the lists are quickly tracked in phones or sketchbooks. The result: the transcription the next day is just that — a record. It doesn’t matter if the list is alphabetical or messy.
And the frequency and formality of the lists is dictated by the relationship of people around the table. Close friends won’t bother with long emails with explanatory notes; new acquaintances may polish the transcription up a bit before forwarding on. But either way, what happened this week isn’t rare. Just about every lunch or dinner that I’m at these days has a similar follow-up email the next morning.
It strikes me that it may be time for technology to step in to make the passing of these lists a bit easier, but that may be overkill. Links, maps, references, lists, more opinions, and contacts will continue to pass from one person to the next. And this, not the drinks, is today’s sign, somehow, that good stuff happened and that the conversation should continue. Just not necessarily over drinks.
It’s funny; the likelihood of me sending or receiving a list of links after a meal goes way up if I’m in your company. In fact, if you’re around, it’s pretty much a given. So I have to wonder if it’s not so common and widespread as it is central to your propensity for bringing about good conversation that’s generous with esoteric knowledge. :)
Interesting - I haven’t had this happen (yet) but perhaps it’s generational. But I did sign up for Socialight. I don’t know if it would work for books and such, but it works well for anything that is geographical in nature. Got to start hanging around with younger people - it’s sound like more fun.
Rahel: Socialight is interesting, but I think I’m looking for something even faster, more integrated with what I’m already doing at that moment. Not sure what that looks like yet.
Rob: I’ll take that as a compliment. :)
This happens to me every time I meet up with people. I always end up sending ‘this is what I was talking about last night’s emails with links to wikipedia, restaurants, films, You Tube clips and so on. I’ve also found myself running to the web after watching a film to check facts, actors, locations etc. So I have ‘after dinner links’ and ‘movie background look around’.
Exactly my experience - what a great, yet simple observation of something that has slipped into our everyday conversations. The promise “I’ll send you that link” also implies this curious bridge between the offline and the online, by which real-world interactions are needed to pass along digital information (and just as a question in the margin: what would be the equivalent of a “no-follow” link in a conversation?). Meanwhile, I find it rare that digital conversations in email trigger exchanges like the dinner you describe — oftentimes, our communication is too point-driven, factual or too casual for such a ping-pong exchange to develop meaningfully…
The other part of the problem, just as you say, is technology. I don’t know about you, but finding those “after dinner” links can be extremely tricky sometimes. You remember the emotion or the association that was triggered when you first encountered the particular link, and if you’re lucky you remember some keywords. Sometimes, it’s your first attempt and the first result on Google (”Lucky!”), but more often than not, it has taken me 3 or 4 tries if not more. “Refinding” something that you didn’t search for originally is especially hard (try re-finding a YouTube video that you only received as a link with no title). In addition, you realize just how fickle and transient many web links still are — so many will no longer be where they were 6 months ago… all to say: we need better archives and better bridges.
Thanks for the post!